Ajit Jokes

America mein Waaar

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000

Robert: America mein WAAR ho gaya boss!!!
Ajit: Us mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool!!! India mein roz "WAAR" hota hai.
Bolo kaise???
Robert: nahin maaloom Boss!!!
Ajit: Arre ulloo!!! SOMWAAR, MANGALWAAR, BUDHWAAR...

A Murga as a Gift

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000

One day Robert present a MURGA as a gift to Ajit. Ajit was in a great mood .

Ajit : Robert! Iss ke saamne daru ka glass rakho.
Robert : (Shocked) Lekin kyon boss?

Ajit : Jab iss ke same daru ka glass rakha jaye ga taab usse hume kahenge “PEA-COCK”.

Ajit and Robert at Cricket Match

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000

Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.

Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.

Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!

Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.

Rabert : Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

Rabert : Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai?

Ajit : Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!

Misc Ajit Jokes - 6

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:38:18 +0000

Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajit: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona

Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajit: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!

Scene: Ajit spots one of his is enemies...
Ajit: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.
Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !

Scene: Ajit is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajit: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare
door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett
(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off
Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajit : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...

Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajit: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene
nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
Ajit: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein
ticket dete-dete thak jayega.

Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !

Misc Ajit Jokes - 8

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:38:18 +0000

Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajit:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !

Scene: Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajit: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish
bhi aa jaayegi.

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajit: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!

Scene: Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajit: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko
Society jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.

Scene: Raabert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole
and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajit: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out
lik do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale
jayega !!

Scene: Ajit is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
Ajit: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....
A pause.....
Tum chootti le lo.

Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajit : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajit: Repeater.

Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
Ajit: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
Raabert: Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
Ajit: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.

Misc Ajit Jokes - 9

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:38:18 +0000

Ajit: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert: Stool, boss ?
Ajit: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.

Scene: Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajit: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara
rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajit: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise
range haathon pakad legi. he he he....

Scene: Raabert and Ajit go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajit picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
Ajit : Nomore !

Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
Ajit : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide
hua hai.

Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajit: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.

Ajit: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.

Ajit: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
Robert: kyu boss ?
Ajit: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.

Misc Ajit Jokes - 10

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:38:18 +0000

Ajit: "Mona daarrling, tum nahane jao. Michael tum bhi saath jao. Aur mere King Cobra ko lekar uske daanth ki safai bhi kar
do."
"Mona daaling, tum Tony ke saath math jao. Agar jaogi to tum, MonaTony ho jaogi. Lisa ke saath jao aur MonaLisa ban jao. Lisa
daaarrling. Come here baby. Abhey Micheal, idhar aa jao. In
babiyon ko lekar apne estate bungalow pahuncho."

Ajit: "Raabert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi"

Ajit: "Is ex-Miss India ko Middle East lekar maar daalo. Marne ke baath bhi will not rest in peace.

        Nahin to Hemendra Godbole ka crossword puzzle ka anagram clue de do, uska 'real fun' se 'funeral' ho jayega."

Ajit: "Shut up Raabert, main sub jhanta hoon. Magar I wanted to
       get it straight out of the horse's mouth. Ha ha haa. Yeh dekho
      'dishooom' 'disshhooom' --- bechara Billoo mar gaya.
       Raabert, Yeh hai the actual horse's 'mauth'."

Ajit: "Magar Raaaabert, mard aur mouse mein ek pharak hai"
Raabert: "Woh kyaa hai baaaasss ?"
Ajit: "Kuch mardon ko 'Mousiji' hoti hai, magar mouse ko kabhi 'mardji' nahin hoti."

"Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao"
"Kyon boss?"
"Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"

Ajit: Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.
Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket kaat-ta reh jaayega.

Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do. Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.

Misc Ajit Jokes - 11

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:38:18 +0000

Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
Ajit: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!

(Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
Ajit: Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do.
Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
Ajit: Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!

Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
Ajit: Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,
aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
Ajit: Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!

Ajit: Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
Ajit: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
Ajit: "Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.
Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.

(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs
a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajit: Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN
aur doosre me OUT likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega
aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!

(Scene - Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
Ajit: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath
mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajit: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he....

Misc Ajit Jokes - 7

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:36:16 +0000

Ajit: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger starrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajit: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

Ajit: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajit: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......

Scene: Ajit comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
Ajit: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara to Pain se mar jayega.

Ajit: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega

Misc Ajit Jokes - 5

dinesh.kini@gmail.com (Dinesh.com ) — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:35:06 +0000

   Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
     Ajit : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide
             hua hai.

Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajit: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.

Ajit: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.

     Ajit: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
     Robert: kyu boss ?
     Ajit: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena

     Mickey Mouse: Ajit, Muzhe Ramayan padhnee hai.
   Ajit: Raabert, isse wall peh chipka do
     Raabert: yeh kyon baas?
     Ajit: Taaki yeh waal-mickey kehlaygaa aur usse Ramayan apne aap samazh me ayegee!

Scene: Ajit murders a man.
Ajit: Raabert, Is aadmi ko Hero Honda ki tank mein dal do.
      Raabert: kyon baas?
Ajit: Fill it,shut it,forget it!

    Boss: Raabert!
      Rab: Yes, bass?
    Boss: Yeh "bus" mei kuch hawa daal do.
    Rab: Lekin, kyon bass?
      Boss: Yeh bus "Airbus" ban jayega.

      Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
      Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.

      Scene: Ajit thouroughly disgusted with Mona da..arrling's typing.
      Ajit: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
      Raabert: Magar kyoon baas?
      Ajit: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.