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UP Jokes

A U.P. Botanist?
Agni-hot-tree.

a son of 2 fathers         ..  Dvivedi
      of 3 fathers         ..  Trivedi
      of 4 fathers         ..  Chaturvedi
      of 5 fathers         ..  Pandey
      of several fathers   ..  Misra
      of unknown parentage ..  Gupta

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Hotel California - Desi Style

    On a dark crowded highway
    brylcreem in my hair
    warm smell of parathas
    rising up through the air

    Up ahead in the distance
    I saw a shimmering light
    my eyes grew dim and my head grew light
    I had to stop for the night

    There they stood in the doorway
    they were desis you could tell
    I got out fearfully
    saying this will surely be hell

    All around us were buildings
    Sun, SGI and Dell
    I slowly unloaded my things
    In the shadows of Intel

    And still those parking lots were full of Hondas
    waiting up in the middle of the night
    to be driven home by programers

    Welcome to the town of Sunnyvale
    such a desi place, such a crazy place
    we're livin' it up in the town of Sunnyvale
    such a nice surprise, so many people with no lives

    My heartstrings were twisted
    I wanted to feel at home
    where thousands of desis existed
    and no white man dared roam

    Sambar stains on the ceilings
    mango lassis on ice
    sit and watch the paint peeling
    or make daal and boil rice

    But my mind revolted
    at the very thought
    I grabbed my bag and bolted
    I'd escape no matter what

    And still those voices are calling from far away
    wake you up in the middle of the night
    I can hear them say

    Welcome to the town of Sunnyvale
    such a desi place, such a crazy place
    we're livin' it up in the town of Sunnyvale
    such a nice surprise, so many people with no lives

    I wake up in a cold sweat thank god it was a dream,
    there is no need to fret.
    I still live in the Marin.
    Oh, I still live in Marin.

    written by Jai Natarajan

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California Girls - Desi Style

Delhi girls are cultured, they'll show you a good time
Malayali girls seem so innocent, but ya know what's on their mind
Andhra girls are bashful, Bengalis are so cosy
Kashmiri girls keep you warm at night with their cheeks so rosy

Punjabi girls are flirts, Oriya girls are charming
And Tamil girls squeeze you so tight, they really are alarming
But there's one place in this whole land where I'm never lonely
'Cause the cutest girls in all the world are in Bombay only

I wish they all could be Bombay girls !
I wish they all could be Bombay girls !

Girls elsewhere just can't compare to the ghagara of gujarat
Out their way no one can say how many they've broken hearts
Bombay girls have style - how they pucker those pouting lips
Bombay girls got that twinkle in their eye 'n' lovely swayinghips

I wish they all could be Bombay girls !
I wish they all could be Bombay girls !

U.P girls are sweet, Rajasthanis true for life
Head on down to Karnataka if you're looking for a wife
But there's one place in this whole world where I'm never lonely
'Cause the cuttest girls in all the world are in Bombay only

I wish they all could be Bombay girls !
I wish they all could be Bombay girls !

love, for Bombaywalli.

Read more: California Girls - Desi Style