Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 8

1. A mechanic sold a car he had fixed up and repaired to his friend, Mulla Nasrudin. The next day
he was sorry he sold it, so he went to see the Mulla. "I will buy the car back from you," he said,
"and give you fifty dollars' profit." So Nasrudin sold him the car. The following day, he looked
up the mechanic. "I am sorry I sold the car back to you," the Mulla said.

"I will give you seventy-five dollars' profit for it." So the Mulla bought the car back. The next day, the mechanic
was sorry he sold it and bought it back again, giving Nasrudin one hundred dollars profit. The
following day, the Mulla came to buy it back, but learned that the mechanic had sold it to a
used-car dealer.

"YOU DOPE! WHY DID YOU SELL IT TO A STRANGER?" said Nasrudin, "ESPECIALLY WHEN WE WERE BOTH MAKING SUCH A WONDERFUL LIVING OUT OF IT."


2. Mulla Nasrudin was drinking too much. So much that it began to worry his friends. Finally, they
figured out a plan to cure him. The plan was for one of them to dress up like a devil, with horns
and a pitchfork. They planned to scare the Mulla into giving up drink. Late one night,as
Nasrudin headed home drunk, his friend jumped from behind a tree and shouted,

"You will have to s drinking!" "Who are you?" asked the Mulla. "I am the devil," said his friend. "OH, YOU
ARE THE DEVIL," said Nasrudin. "I AM GLAD TO MEET YOU. I AM THE GUY WHO MARRIED YOUR SISTER."


3. Mulla Nasrudin was sitting under a tree chatting with a neighbour, when his boy came up the
road carrying a chicken. "Where did you get that chicken?" Nasrudin asked his boy. "Stole it,"
said the boy. Mulla Nasrudin turned to his friend and said proudly, "THIS IS MY BOY. HE MAY
STEAL, BUT HE WON'T LIE."


4. Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends were lying on the green grass beside a country road.
Above them was the warm sun. Birds were singing in the trees. It was quiet, restful, and a
peaceful scene. "Boy," said the Mulla, "right now I would not change places with anybody not
for a million dollars." "How about five million, Mulla?" asked his friend.

"No, not even for five million," said the Mulla. "Well," said the other, "how about one dollar?" Mulla Nasrudin sat up.
"WELL," he said, "THAT'S DIFFERENT. NOW YOU ARE TALKING REAL MONEY."


5. "Where have you been for the last two hours?" demanded the man's wife. "I MET MULLA
NASRUDIN IN FRONT OF THE POST OFFICE AND MADE THE MISTAKE OF ASKING HIM HOW HE
WAS FEELING," said the man.



6. Mulla Nasrudin: "A pack of cigarettes, please." Clerk: "Yes, Sir, regular or king size?" Nasrudin:
"King size." Clerk: "Filter or plain?" Nasrudin: "Filter." Clerk: "Menthol or non-menthol?"
Nasrudin: "Non-menthol." Clerk: "Pack or box?" Nasrudin: "Box." Clerk: "Turkish blend or -- "
Nasrudin: "FORGET IT PLEASE! I JUST GAVE UP THE HABIT!"


7. Mulla Nasrudin limped into a doctor's office with a badly swollen ankle. "Goodness, Man," said
the doctor, after looking at Nasrudin's ankle, "how long has it been in this condition?" "About
three weeks," said the Mulla. "Why, this ankle is broken," said the doctor. "Why didn't you
come to me right away?" "Well, I sort of hesitated," said the Mulla, "BECAUSE EVERY TIME I
SAY ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME, MY WIFE INSISTS THAT I S SMOKING."



8. Mulla Nasrudin called on the minister and told him a distressing story of poverty and misery in
the neighborhood. "This poor widow," said the Mulla, "with four starving children to feed, is sick
in bed with no money for the doctor, and besides that she owes $100 rent for three months and
is about to be evicted. I'm out trying to help raise the rent money.

I wondered if you can help?" "I certainly can," said the minister. "If you can give your time to this cause, so can I. By the
way, who are you?" "I AM THE LANDLORD," said Nasrudin.


9. As usual, Mulla Nasrudin showed up for supper with dirty hands and a dirty face. "Go wash up,"
his wife screamed at him. "Night after night I tell you. And night after night you always come to
the table without washing.

Why don't you ever do it without my shouting at you?" "WELL," said the Mulla, "IT'S ALWAYS WORTH A TRY. WHO KNOWS? YOU MIGHT FORGET ONCE."


10. The burglar was not only carrying a mean-looking gun, he also appeared to be drunk. "Get
ready to die," he said to Mulla Nasrudin. "I am going to shoot you." "Why shoot me?" asked the
Mulla.

"I have always said that I would shoot anyone who looked like me," the burglar said.
"And do I look like you?" asked the Mulla. "Yes, you do," said the burglar. "THAN GO AHEAD AND SHOOT," said Nasrudin. "ONE LESS LIKE YOU, THE BETTER."

Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 8

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 6

1. "Doctor," a woman said as she rushed into Mulla Nasrudin's house, "I want you to tell me
frankly, exactly what is wrong with me." Nasrudin looked her over from head to foot, then said,
"Madam, I have three things to tell you.

First, you are about fifty pounds overweight, Second, your looks would be improved if you took off several layers of rouge and lipstick. AND THIRD, I
AM NOT THE DOCTOR. THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS ACROSS THE STREET."



2. Mulla Nasrudin had been fishing all afternoon. A man, who had just walked up, asked him,
"How many have you caught today, Mulla?"

"Well," said Nasrudin, "IF I CATCH THIS ONE THAT'S NIBBLING, AND THEN TWO MORE, I WILL HAVE THREE."



3. Mulla Nasrudin went to see his lawyer about a divorce. "What grounds do you think you have
for a divorce?" the lawyer asked. "It's my wife's manners," said the Mulla. "She has such bad
table manners that she is disgracing the whole family."

"That's bad," the lawyer said. "How long have you been married?" "Nine years," said the Mulla.

"If you have been able to put up with her table manners for nine years, I can't understand why you want a divorce now," the lawyer said.
"WELL," said Nasrudin, "I DIDN'T KNOW IT BEFORE. I JUST BOUGHT A BOOK OF ETIQUETTE THIS MORNING."


4. "Insurance is the greatest thing in the world," the eager insurance salesman said to his
prospect, Mulla Nasrudin. "Why, I carry a $75,000 policy on my own life, payable to my wife."
"IN THAT CASE," said Nasrudin, "WHAT EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE FOR LIVING?"



5. Mulla Nasrudin was telling his wife about a dream he had experienced the night before. "It was
terrible," he said. "I was at a birthday party at Joe's house. His mother had baked a chocolate
cake three feet high, and when she cut it everybody was given a piece that was so large that it
hung over the sides of the plate.

Then she dipped up some homemade ice cream. She had so much of it that she had to give each one of us our share in a soup bowl." "What was so terrible about that dream?" asked his wife. "OH," said Nasrudin, "I WOKE UP BEFORE I COULD GET THE
FIRST TASTE."


6. It had been a real big night at the tavern. Mulla Nasrudin had to be carried back to his shack by
his friends. When he woke up the next day, he was started to see a huge ape sitting on the foot
of his bunk. He carefully reached for his 45. He took careful aim and said, "IF YOU ARE A REAL
MONKEY, YOU ARE IN A BAD FIX. BUT IF YOU ARE NOT, THEN I AM."



7. Mulla Nasrudin said to his wife, "My dear, this article says women need more sleep than men."
"Is that right? " she said . "YES, DEAR," said the Mulla, "SO MAYBE YOU'D BETTER NOT WAIT
UP FOR ME TONIGHT."



8. Mulla Nasrudin called on a psychiatrist and told him that he had problems and needed help. "I
want to talk to you," said the Mulla, "because my ethics have not been what they should be and
my conscience is bothering me." "I understand," the psychiatrist said, "and you want me to
help you build up a stronger will power, is that it?" "NO," said Nasrudin, "THAT'S NOT IT. I
WANT YOU TO TRY TO WEAKEN MY CONSCIENCE."


9. Mulla Nasrudin had lost out in the last election and was feeling sorry for himself. "I was a
victim," he said, "nothing but a victim." "A victim?, asked a friend. "A victim of what?" "A
VICTIM OF ACCURATE COUNTING," said Nasrudin.


10. A young playwright gave a special invitation to Mulla Nasrudin to watch his new play. The Mulla
came to the play, but slept through the entire performance.

The young playwright was indignant and said, "How could you sleep when you knew how much I wanted your opinion?"
"YOUNG MAN," said Nasrudin, "SLEEP IS AN OPINION."


Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 6

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 5

 

1. Mulla Nasrudin's wife said to him at a buffet supper: "That's the fifth time you have gone back
for more fried chicken. Doesn't it embarrass you?" "NOT AT ALL," he said. "I KEEP TELLING
THEM I AM GETTING IT FOR YOU."



2. Mulla Nasrudin came up and shook hands with the future bridegroom. "Congratulations, friend,"
he said, "on this, one of the happiest days of your life." "But I am not getting married until
tomorrow," said the future bridegroom. "I KNOW," said the Mulla. "THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS
ONE OF YOUR HAPPIEST DAYS."


3. Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were gossiping about the recent wedding scandal. "Just think," said
the wife, "it was just as the bride was coming down the aisle that the groom suddenly turned
and ran from the church and skipped town. I guess he lost his nerve." "OH, I DON'T THINK
SO," said the Mulla. "I FIGURE HE FOUND IT."


4. "Daddy, Daddy," the girl cried. "Mummy has just fallen off the roof!" "I KNOW, DEAR," said
Mulla Nasrudin. "I SAW HER PASS THE WINDOW."



5. The election was being challenged by the defeated candidate, Mulla Nasrudin. "I know it was
crooked," said the Mulla. "A FRIEND OF MINE VOTED FOR ME FIFTEEN TIMES IN THE THIRD
PRECINCT AND I DIDN'T GET BUT FOUR VOTES THERE."



6. The rival political candidates were scheduled to speak at the county fair on the same program.
Mulla Nasrudin was chosen to introduce them. He arose and said, "I want to present to you a
man who, above anyone, has the welfare of each and everyone of you at heart. More than
anyone I know, he is devoted to our great and glorious nation." Then he turned to the
candidates and asked, "WHICH OF YOU FELLOWS WANTS TO TALK FIRST?"



7. Mulla Nasrudin was complaining about the slowness of the bus to the driver. After he couldn't
stand the complaining any longer, the driver said, "If you don't like it, why don't you get out
and walk?" "I WOULD," said the Mulla, "BUT MY WIFE IS GOING TO MEET ME AND SHE
DOESN'T EXPECT ME UNTIL THIS BUS GETS THERE."



8. The new man in town told Mulla Nasrudin, "I have come out here to make an honest living."
"WELL," said the Mulla, "THERE'S NOT MUCH COMPETITION."



9. Mulla Nasrudin rushed into a bar and said breathlessly, "The usual, please, and hurry, I gotta
catch my train." The bartender set up five martinis in a row and the Mulla gulped the second,
third and fourth, leaving the first and last drinks on the bar. Then he rushed out as rapidly as
he had entered. A bystander asked the bartender why the customer left the two drinks. "Oh, he
does that all the time," said the bartender. "He says THE FIRST ONE ALWAYS TASTES
TERRIBLE AND THE LAST ONE GETS HIM IN TROUBLE AT HOME."



10. Mulla Nasrudin was complaining about his wife to a friend. "I don't know what I am going to do
about her," he said. "She has the worst memory in the world." "You mean she forgets
everything?" asked his friend. "HECK, NO," said Nasrudin. "SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING."


More Mulla Nasruddin Jokes
More Bollywood Jokes
More Indian Jokes
More Sardar Jokes

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 4

1. The judge was questioning Mulla Nasrudin. "I understand that your wife is scared to death of
you," he said. "That's right, your Honor," said the Mulla.

The judge leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Man to man," he said, "HOW DO YOU DO IT?"

2. The man said to Mulla Nasrudin on the street who had asked him for a handout, "You would
stand more chance of getting a job if you would shave and clean yourself up." "Yes, Sir," the
Mulla said. "I FOUND THAT OUT YEARS AGO."


3. Mulla Nasrudin reported to the superintendent of the mental hospital and asked: "Have any of
your male patients escaped lately?"

"Why do you ask? said the superintendent. "BECAUSE, "said the Mulla, "SOMEONE HAS RUN OFF WITH MY WIFE."


4. Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with his master who had taken up art. "When I look at one of your
paintings, Sir," he said, "all I can do is stand and wonder." "Wonder how I do it?" asked the
master. "No," said Nasrudin. "WHY YOU DO IT."



5. Mulla Nasrudin approached a genteel-appearing, elderly man with his tale of woe and a request
for assistance. The old gentleman refused him, saying, "I am sorry, my friend, I have no
money, but I can give you some good advice."

The Mulla said in a disgusted tone, "No thanks, IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY, I DON'T GUESS YOUR ADVICE IS WORTH ANYTHING, SIR."


6. A man said to his friend Mulla Nasrudin: "Who is the boss in your house?" "Well," said Nasrudin,
"my wife assumes command of the children, the servants, the dog and the parakeet. BUT I SAY
PRETTY MUCH WHAT I PLEASE TO THE GOLDFISH."



7. A young man had just passed his examination for his private pilot's license. He wanted to show
off and persuaded the Mulla Nasrudin to go up with him.

When they landed, the Mulla said: "Thanks for the two rides." "What do you mean,two rides, Uncle?" asked the young man. "You
had only one." "Oh no," said Nasrudin. "TWO. MY FIRST AND MY LAST."



8. Mulla Nasrudin was lying beside the wrecked car with a broken leg. He was being questioned by
the highway patrolman. "Married?" asked the patrolman. "NO," said Nasrudin. "THIS IS THE
WORST MESS I HAVE EVER BEEN IN."


9. The housewife gave Mulla Nasrudin a sandwich, but asked him, "Haven't you been able to find
work?" "Yes, Lady, there is plenty of work," said the Mulla, "but everybody wants a reference
from my last employer."

"Can't you get one?" she asked. "NO," said Nasrudin. "HE HAS BEEN DEAD TWENTY YEARS."

10. "What in the world happened at the picnic yesterday?" a fellow asked Mulla Nasrudin. "They are
saying around the tavern that you acted like a coward." "Well, I am no fool," the Mulla said.

"Some of the girls found a big hornet's nest in the  of a tree and dared me to climb up and
get it. And I just didn't do it, that's all." "Whether you were smart or not," said the friend, "That
sort of thing makes you unhonored and unsung around here."

"THAT'S RIGHT," said Nasrudin, "BUT I AM ALSO UNHARMED AND UNSTUNG."


More Mulla Nasruddin Jokes
More Bollywood Jokes
More Indian Jokes
More Sardar Jokes

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 3

1. "You don't love me any more," said Mulla Nasrudin's wife through her tears. "When you see me
crying, you never ask why."

"I am sorry, Darling," said Nasrudin, "BUT THAT SORT OF
QUESTION HAS ALREADY COST ME AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY."

2. The hay wagon had upset in the road and the young driver, Mulla Nasrudin, was terribly
worried about it. A kindhearted farmer told the young fellow to forget his troubles and come in
and have some supper with his family. "Then we will straighten up the wagon," the farmer said.

The Mulla said he didn't think his father would like it. "Oh, don't worry about that," said the
farmer. "Everything will be all right." So Nasrudin stayed for supper. Afterwards he said he felt
better and thanked the farmer. "But," he said, "I still don't think my father will like it." "Forget
it," said the farmer.

"By the way," he added, "Where is your father?" "He's under the hay!" said
Nasrudin.

3. Mulla Nasrudin was getting ready to apply to a local department store for a job. A friend told
him that it was the policy of the store to hire nobody but Catholic Christians, and that if he
wanted a job there, he would have to lie about being a Catholic Christian.

Nasrudin applied for the job and the personnel man asked him the usual questions. Then he said to the Mulla, "And
what church do you belong to?" "I am a Catholic," said Nasrudin. "And all my family are
Catholics. IN FACT, MY FATHER IS A PRIEST AND MY MOTHER IS A NUN, SIR."

4. Mulla Nasrudin was applying for a job. "Does the company pay for my hospitalization?" he
asked. "No, you pay for it," the personnel director said. "We take it out of your salary each
month." "The last place I worked, they paid for it," said the Mulla. "That's unusual," the
personnel man said.

"How much vacation did you get?" "Six weeks," replied the Mulla. "Did you get a bonus?" the personnel man asked. "Yes," said the Mulla. "Not only that, they gave us an
annual bonus, sent us a turkey on Thanksgiving, gave us the use of a company car and threw a
big barbecue for us each year." "Why did you leave?" asked the personnel director. "THEY WENT BUST," said Nasrudin.


5. Mulla Nasrudin got on a double-decker bus and climbed to the upper deck. A few minutes later,
he staggered down the steps, muttering to himself. "Is anything the matter?" asked the driver.
"IT AIN'T SAFE UP THERE," said Nasrudin. "NO DRIVER."



6. Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were arguing. "I was a fool when I married you," said the wife. "I
GUESS YOU WERE," replied Nasrudin, "BUT I WAS SO INFATUATED AT THE TIME, I DIDN'T
NOTICE IT."

7. The town's richest man had died. The next morning, another rich, and particularly miserly, old
man said to Mulla Nasrudin, "I wonder how much he left." Mulla Nasrudin laughed and said,
"EVERY CENT OF IT, SIR."

8. Mulla Nasrudin used to say: "Every man should have at least one wife, because there are
somethings that just can't be blamed on the government."

9. Mulla Nasrudin had just checked into the hotel. "Welcome," said the clerk at the desk. "We
want you to know you are welcome. We are going to do everything we can to make you
comfortable and help you to feel at home."

"PLEASE DON'T," said the Mulla. "I LEFT HOME SO I COULD FIND A CHANGE. FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS I WANT TO FEEL AS IF I AM AT A BEACH
RESORT."



10. The lady said to Mulla Nasrudin at the door, "Have you ever been offered work?" "Only once
Lady," said Nasrudin. "Aside from that, I HAVE MET WITH NOTHING BUT KINDNESS."


More Mulla Nasruddin Jokes
More Bollywood Jokes
More Indian Jokes
More Sardar Jokes

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 1

1. A rich farmer had been trying desperately to marry off his daughters. One day he met Mulla Nasrudin.

"I have several daughters," the farmer told the Mulla. "I would like to see them comfortably fixed. And I will say this, they won't go to their husbands without a little bit in the bank, either.

The youngest one is twenty-three and she will take Rupees 25,000 with her. The next one is thirty-two, and she will take Rupees 50,000 with her. Another is forty-three and she will take Rupees 75,000 with her."

"That's interesting," said Nasrudin. "I was just wondering if you have one about fifty years old."


2. Mulla Nasrudin's family was upset because the girl he was planning to marry was an atheist.


"We'll not have you marrying an atheist," his mother said. "What can I do? I love her," the young Nasrudin said. "Well," said his mother, "if she loves you, she will do anything you ask.

You should talk religion to her. If you are persistent, you can win her over." Several weeks went by, then one morning at breakfast the young Mulla seemed absolutely brokenhearted. "What's the matter?" his mother asked. "I thought you were making such good progress in your talks about religion to your young girlfriend."

"THAT'S THE TROUBLE," said Nasrudin. I OVER DID IT. LAST NIGHT SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS SO CONVINCED THAT SHE IS GOING TO STUDY TO BE A NUN."


3. The young lady's hopes had been high for two years while Mulla Nasrudin remained silent on the question of marriage. Then one evening he said to her, "I had a most unusual dream last
night. I dreamed that I asked to marry you.

I wonder what that means." "THAT MEANS," said his girlfriend, "THAT YOU HAVE MORE SENSE ASLEEP THAN YOU HAVE AWAKE."



4. Mulla Nasrudin had been calling on his girlfriend for over a year. One evening the girl's father sped him as he was leaving and asked, "Look here, young man, you have been seeing my daughter for a year now, and I would like to know whether your intentions are honorable or dishonorable?"

Nasrudin's face lit up. "DO YOU MEAN TO SAY, SIR," he said, "THAT I HAVE A
CHOICE?"



5. Mulla Nasrudin's mother, worrying about her son's safety, said to him: "Didn't I say you should not let that girl come over to your room last night? You know how things like that worry me."
"But I didn't invite her to my room," said Nasrudin.

"I went over to her room. NOW YOU CAN LET HER MOTHER DO THE WORRYING."

6. "Well, young man, I understand you want to become my son-in-law," said the father to his daughter's boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin.

"NO, SIR, NOT EXACTLY," replied Nasrudin. "BUT IF I MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER, I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN GET OUT OF IT."

7. Mulla Nasrudin was talking to a friend about his recently broken romance. "Do you mean," asked the friend, "that at her request, you gave up drinking, and smoking, and gambling, and
dancing, and playing pool?" "Yes, just because she insisted," said the Mulla. "Then why didn't you marry her?" the fellow asked.

"WELL, AFTER ALL THAT REFORMING," said Nasrudin, "I DECIDED I COULD DO BETTER."

8. A girlfriend at a cocktail party said to Mulla Nasrudin, "I keep hearing you use the word 'idiot;' I
hope you are not referring to me." "DON'T BE SO CONCEITED," said the Mulla. "AS IF THERE WERE NO OTHER IDIOTS IN THE WORLD!"

9. Mulla Nasrudin sat fishing in a bucket of water. A visitor, wishing to be friendly, asked, "How
many have you caught?" "YOU ARE THE NINTH," said Nasrudin.



10. The young lady became angry with her boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin, and said, "You are a perfect
dope!" "DON'T TRY FLATTERY," said Nasrudin. "NONE OF US IS PERFECT!"


 

More Mulla Nasruddin Jokes
More Bollywood Jokes
More Indian Jokes
More Sardar Jokes