Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 20

1. Mulla Nasrudin's wife woke him up one morning and said, "Honey, wake up. Today is our 42nd
wedding anniversary. I think we ought to celebrate. What do you say we kill a chicken?" The
Mulla looked at her and said, "WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU WANT TO PUNISH A POOR
CHICKEN FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED 42 YEARS AGO?"

2. Mulla Nasrudin was talking to his lawyer about having his will drawn up. The lawyer asked him:
"What's to be different about this will?" "OH," said Nasrudin, "I AM LEAVING EVERYTHING TO
MY WIFE ON THE CONDITION THAT SHE MARRIES AGAIN. I WANT SOMEBODY TO BE SORRY I
DIED."

3. Mulla Nasrudin, celebrating his 95th birthday was asked by a friend: "Don't you hate growing
old, Mulla?" "HECK, NO,"said Nasrudin. "IF I WASN'T GROWING OLD, I'D BE DEAD."


4. A newspaper reporter was interviewing Mulla Nasrudin on his 99th birthday. As he was shaking
hands to leave, he said, "I hope I can come back next year and see you on your 100th
birthday." "I DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T," said the old Mulla. "YOU LOOK HEALTHY ENOUGH."


5. The tourist was talking to Mulla Nasrudin who had just celebrated his 100th birthday. "And to
what do you owe your great age?" he asked. "WELL, I AM NOT SURE YET," said Nasrudin. "I AM
DICKERING WITH A COUPLE OF BREAKFAST FOOD COMPANIES, SIR."


6. A newspaper reporter was interviewing Mulla Nasrudin on his 100th birthday. "If you had your
life to live over," he asked, "do you think you would make the same mistakes again?"
"CERTAINLY, " said the old Mulla, "BUT I WOULD START A LOT SOONER."


7. Mulla Nasrudin finally reached the age of 105. A newspaper reporter from town came out to
take his picture and write a story about him. The reporter was talking to a neighbour about the
old man and asked him, "How do you figure your friend was able to live so long?" "I GUESS,"
said the neighbour, "IT WAS BECAUSE HE NEVER DID ANYTHING ELSE."


8. A newspaperman was interviewing Mulla Nasrudin on his 105th birthday. He noticed that the
Mulla was wearing a rabbit's foot on his key chain. "You don't mean to tell me," said the
newspaperman, "that a man of your experience still believes in that old and childish
superstition? " "CERTAINLY NOT," said Nasrudin, "BUT MY WIFE: TELLS ME IT IS SUPPOSED TO
BRING YOU LUCK WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IN IT OR NOT."


9. Mulla Nasrudin was stabbed by burglars. But before dying he wrote a note to his wife from the
hospital. The last paragraph of it read: "I have been very fortunate because only the day before
I had put all of my money and negotiable bonds in my safety deposit box at the bank, SO THAT
I AM LOSING PRACTICALLY NOTHING BUT MY LIFE."


10. When Mulla Nasrudin died, his wife decided to have him cremated. The attendant at the
crematory showed his widow a display of beautifully decorated urns for his ashes. "NO," she
said. "I DON'T WANT ANY OF THOSE THINGS. I WANT YOU TO PUT HIS ASHES IN AN HOUR
GLASS. I AM GOING TO PUT IT ON THE MANTELPIECE. MULLA NASRUDIN NEVER DID A DAY'S
WORK IN HIS LIFE, BUT BELIEVE ME, HE WILL BE BUSY ALL DAY LONG FROM NOW ON."

Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 20

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 19

1. A man went to the funeral of Mulla Nasrudin's wife. In the funeral home, the Mulla was standing
at the end of the casket. The man looked at his friend's dead wife and said, "Does she not look
wonderful!" "WHY NOT? " asked Nasrudin. "SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL ALL WINTER! "



2. Mulla Nasrudin was in an accident and sued the insurance company for $1,000 and won his
case. When he received his check; he called on his lawyer to settle up. "How much do I owe
you?" he asked the lawyer. "Well," said the lawyer, "I will tell you how it is. Since I am an old
friend of your's and your father before you, my fee will be only $900."

"I am sure glad," said Nasrudin as he made out his check for $900, "THAT YOU WERE NOT A FRIEND OF MY
GRANDFATHER'S TOO."



3. A school teacher wrote a note home to Abdul's mother: "Dear Mrs. Nasrudin, your son, Abdul,
is a smart boy, but he spends all of his time with the girls. I am trying to break him of this
habit." The teacher received this reply: "I wish you success. Please let me know how you do it.
I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR YEARS TO BREAK HIS FATHER OF THE SAME HABIT."



4. Mulla Nasrudin's wife was in the hospital dying. Just before she passed away, she said to her
husband who was sitting by the bedside, "Darling, I have only one regret as I pass on. I hate to
leave you behind in all of your loneliness. I just want you to know that if you should ever want
to remarry, you have my consent. Only, if you do, I wonder if you would promise me
something."

"Yes, Darling," said the Mulla.'what is it?" "Would you promise not to let your new
wife wear my old clothes and remind you of me?" she asked. "WHY,CERTAINLY I WILL
PROMISE YOU THAT," said Nasrudin. "I WOULDN'T THINK OF DOING SUCH A THING. BESIDES,
ALL OF YOUR SUITS ARE TOO SMALL FOR FATIMA ANYWAY."


5. Mulla Nasrudin and his friend, Old Joe, went into a bar and Joe ordered four straight shots in
about four minutes. Each time he would gulp it down. After the fourth, and before he could
order the fifth, Joe passed out -- plunk, right on the floor. "WELL," said Nasrudin, "ONE THING
ABOUT OLD JOE -- HE KNOWS WHEN HE'S HAD ENOUGH."



6. Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbour were talking about the problems of raising their boys. "Is
your son very ambitious, Mulla?" asked the neighbour. "YES," said Nasrudin, "HE HAS SUCH
BIG IDEAS ABOUT BEING RICH AND SUCCESSFUL, THAT ALREADY HE'S BEGINNING TO LOOK
ON ME AS A SORT OF POOR RELATION."


7. A drunk sat next to old Mulla Nasrudin on a bus. Thinking Mulla Nasrudin to be a preacher from
his appearance and trying to start a conversation, he said, "I ain't going to heaven. There ain't
no heaven." The Mulla never said a word. "I say there ain't no heaven," said the drunk in a loud
voice. The Mulla still didn't answer him. "I said I ain't going to heaven," shouted the drunk.
Mulla Nasrudin quietly turned to the drunk and said, "WELL, GO TO HELL, THEN; BUT BE QUIET
ABOUT IT."



8. The old Mulla Nasrudin was complaining to his landlady about the lack of heat in his room.
"SOMETIMES IT GETS SO COLD AT NIGHT," he said, "THAT I WAKE UP AND HEAR MY TEETH
CHATTERING ON THE NIGHT TABLE."



9. Mulla Nasrudin bought one of those new hearing aids that are practically invisible. He was told
that he could return it if it didn't prove twice as good as the cumbersome device he had been
using. He sped by a few days later to express his satisfaction with the new device. "I will bet
your family likes it too," said the clerk.

"Oh, they don't even know I have got it," said Nasrudin. "AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM HAVING MORE FUN WITH IT! IN THE PAST TWO DAYS, I HAVE CHANGED MY WILL THREE TIMES."

10. "That pain in your leg is caused by old age," the doctor told Mulla Nasrudin. "That can't be,"
replied the Mulla. "THE OTHER LEG IS THE SAME AGE AND DOESN'T HURT A BIT."

Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 19

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 18

1. "I am going to get a divorce," a friend told Mulla Nasrudin. "My wife has not spoken to me in
three months." "I'D THINK TWICE IF I WERE YOU," said the Mulla. "WIVES LIKE THAT ARE
HARD TO FIND."



2. Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend his future through palmistry. He said, "You will be poor and
unhappy and miserable until you are sixty." "Then what?" asked the man hopefully. "BY THAT
TIME," said Nasrudin, "YOU WILL BE USED TO IT."


3. Mulla Nasrudin was sitting on his cot in a flophouse. "You know," he said to the fellow on the
next cot, "when I was seventeen years old, I made up my mind that nothing was going to s
me from getting rich." "Well, how came you never got rich?" his friend asked. "OH," said
Nasrudin, "BY THE TIME I WAS NINETEEN, I REALIZED IT WOULD BE EASIER TO CHANGE MY
MIND."


4. "My wife used to play the piano," a friend told Mulla Nasrudin, "but since the children came, she
has not had time to touch it." "CHILDREN SOMETIMES ARE A COMFORT, ARE THEY NOT?" said
Nasrudin.


5. The situation was desperate. Mulla Nasrudin had been bitten by a rabid dog and the doctors
were not certain that he had begun treatment in time to save him. After a consultation on the
matter, they came into the room and told him the plain truth -- that he might develop
hydrophobia -- that his chances were pretty bad. Instead of seeming to be upset at the news,
Mulla Nasrudin asked for a pen and paper and began to write at great length. After an hour of
steady writing, his nurse said to him, "What are you writing, Mulla? Is it your will or a letter to
your family?" "NO," said Nasrudin, "IT'S A LIST OF PEOPLE I AM GOING TO BITE."

6. Mulla Nasrudin and his young son were driving in the country one winter. It was snowing. Their
bullock-cart broke down. They finally reached a farmhouse and were welcomed for the night.
The house was cold, and the attic in which they were invited to spend the night was like an
icebox. Stripping to his underwear, the Mulla jumped into a featherbed and pulled the blankets
over his head. The young man was slightly embarrassed. "Excuse me, Dad," he said, "don't you
think we ought to say our prayers before going to bed?" The Mulla stuck one eye out from
under the covers. "SON," he said, "I KEEP PRAYED UP AHEAD FOR SITUATIONS JUST LIKE THIS
ONE."


7. Mulla Nasrudin's wife was giving her daughter a few interesting facts about married life. "I
hope," she told the young girl, "that your lot in life is going to be easier than mine was. For the
fifty-five years I have been married, I have carried two heavy burdens, your father and the fire.
EVERY TIME I HAVE TURNED AROUND TO LOOK AFTER ONE OF THEM, THE OTHER HAS GONE
OUT."


8. A young lady went to old Mulla Nasrudin for advice. She said to the Mulla: "Should I marry a
fellow who lies to me?" "YES, UNLESS YOU WANT TO REMAIN UNMARRIED FOREVER," said
Nasrudin.


9. Mulla Nasrudin's mule kicked his wife in the head and she died. A huge crowd turned out for the
funeral, most of them men. The minister following the ceremonies, said: "This lady must have
been very popular. Look at the large number of people who have left their work to come to her
funeral." "THEY ARE NOT HERE FOR THE FUNERAL," said Nasrudin. "THEY ARE HERE TO BID ON
THE MULE."


10. "Stand up," shouted the preacher, "if you want to go to heaven." Everybody stood up but old
Mulla Nasrudin. "Don't you want to go to heaven, brother?" asked the preacher. "YES, SIR,"
said Nasrudin, "BUT I AIN'T GOING WITH NO EXCURSION."

Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 18

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 17

1. A drunk cowhand rushed into a bar waving and firing his guns at random and shouting, "All you
dirty, lousy skunks get outta here." Within a minute everybody had scattered and disappeared
except Mulla Nasrudin, who sat at the bar finishing his drink. "Well," barked the cowhand,
waving his smoking gun. "What about it?" "My," said the Mulla, "THERE WERE CERTAINLY A
LOT OF THEM, WEREN'T THEY?"


2. Mulla Nasrudin always said: "Oh, well, it might have been worse." One day an acquaintance
sped him and said, "I dreamed last night that I died, went to hell, and was doomed to
everlasting torment." "Oh, well," said Nasrudin, "it might have been worse." "What do you
mean, Mulla!" cried the man. "How could it have been worse?" "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRUE,"
said Nasrudin.

3. "You have got to have more recreation and relaxation," said Mulla Nasrudin to the overworked
friend. "But I am too busy," said the friend. "THAT'S SILLY," replied Nasrudin. "ANTS HAVE THE
GREATEST REPUTATION FOR BEING BUSY ALL THE TIME, YET THEY NEVER MISS AN
OPPORTUNITY TO ATTEND A PICNIC."


4. Mulla Nasrudin was visited by a boyhood friend whom he had not seen for years. The man told
him a long story of misfortune: bankruptcy, death of wife and children, personal illness. He
ended by asking for a loan. The Mulla called his son and a big, athletic-type walked in.
"TOMMY," said Nasrudin, "THROW THIS POOR FELLOW DOWNSTAIRS; HE IS BREAKING MY
HEART."


5. Mulla Nasrudin had just returned a sheaf of poems to the budding young poet. "Do you think it
would help if I put more fire into my poetry, Sir?" the young man asked Nasrudin. "NO," said
the Mulla. "I WOULD RECOMMEND THE REVERSE."


6. Mulla Nasrudin finally bought a parrot at an auction after some rather spirited bidding. "I
assume the bird talks," he said to the auctioneer. "TALKS?" the auctioneer said. "WHO DO YOU
THINK HAS BEEN BIDDING AGAINST YOU FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR?"


7. Mulla Nasrudin, carrying a chair, walked up to the owner of a secondhand store and asked how
much it was worth. "Three dollars," said the secondhand dealer. The Mulla seemed surprised.
"Isn't it worth more than that?" he said. "Three dollars is the limit," the owner said. "See that?
Where the leg is split? And look here where the paint is peeling." "OKAY THEN," said Nasrudin.
"I SAW IT IN FRONT OF YOUR STORE MARKED $10, BUT I THOUGHT THERE MUST BE A
MISTAKE. FOR $3 I WILL TAKE IT."


8. The editor tried hard to read Mulla Nasrudin's handwriting. "Mulla, this handwriting is so bad I
can hardly read it," he said. "Why didn't you type out these poems before you brought them
in?" "TYPE THEM!" cried Nasrudin. "DO YOU THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT IF I COULD TYPE, I
WOULD BE WASTING MY TIME TRYING TO WRITE POETRY?"


9. Mulla Nasrudin's son, studying political science, asked his father, "Dad, what's a traitor in
politics?" "Any man who leaves our party," said the Mulla, "and goes over to the other one is a
traitor." "Well, what about a man who leaves his party and comes over to your's?" asked the
young man. "HE'D BE A CONVERT, SON," said Nasrudin, "A REAL CONVERT."



10. Mulla Nasrudin was obviously envious of the rich man who had just given him a dollar. "You
have no reason to envy me," said the rich man, "even if I do look prosperous. I have my
troubles, too, you know." "YOU HAVE PROBABLY GOT PLENTY OF TROUBLES," said Nasrudin,
"BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS, I AIN'T GOT NOTHING ELSE, SIR."


Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 17

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 16

1. Mulla Nasrudin was being selected as a juror in a murder trial. The attorney for the defense was
challenging prospective jurors. He questioned Mulla Nasrudin, "Are you married or single?"
"Married for ten years," said the Mulla. "Have you formed or expressed an opinion?" asked the
attorney. "NOT FOR TEN YEARS," replied Nasrudin.


2. Mulla Nasrudin was visiting his psychiatrist. Among the many questions the doctor asked was:
"Are you bothered by improper thoughts?" "NOT AT ALL," said Nasrudin. "THE TRUTH IS I
RATHER ENJOY THEM."



3. "Why don't you s picking on me?" said Mulla Nasrudin to his wife. "I am trying to do
everything possible to make you happy." "There's one thing you haven't done that my first
husband did to make me happy," she said. "What's that?" asked the Mulla. "HE DROPPED
DEAD," she said.



4. The young daughter of Mulla Nasrudin heard a tapping on her window in the early hours of the
morning. There on a ladder was her boyfriend. Their elopement was going according to plan.
"Are you all ready?" her boyfriend asked. "Yes," whispered the girl, "but don't talk so loud, you
might wake up my father." "WAKE HIM UP?" her boyfriend asked. "WHO DO YOU THINK IS
HOLDING THE LADDER?"



5. "Why are you so down in the mouth, Mulla?" asked someone in the tavern. "Aw," said Mulla
Nasrudin, "I just heard a guy call another fellow a liar. And that fellow said that if he didn't
apologize, he would whip him." "Well, why should that make you so sad?" asked the first.
"BECAUSE," said Nasrudin, "THE GUY APOLOGIZED."

6. It was the 'better part of town' and the lady who came to the door said to Mulla Nasrudin: "I
should think you would be ashamed to beg in this neighborhood." "DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR IT,
LADY," said Nasrudin, "I HAVE SEEN WORSE."


7. "It certainly is hard," said the sad individual "to love one's relatives." "HARD? " said Nasrudin.
"HARD? IT IS PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!"



8. The editor of the local newspaper was beside himself. He said to Mulla Nasrudin in the
teahouse: "What are we going to do for our front page tonight? Nothing scandalous has
happened in town for almost twenty-four hours!" "TAKE IT EASY " said Nasrudin. "SOMETHING
WILL HAPPEN. YOU SHOULDN'T LOSE FAITH IN HUMAN NATURE, SIR."


9. "This sure is a lousy party," a guest at a cocktail party said to Mulla Nasrudin, who was next to
him. "I am going to finish this one and then get out of here." "I WOULD TOO," said Nasrudin,
"BUT I HAVE GOT TO STAY. I AM THE HOST."



10. A guest at a concert turned to Mulla Nasrudin sitting next to him and criticised the voice of the
woman who was singing. "What a terrible voice," he said. "Do you know who she is?" "Yes,"
said the Mulla. "She's my wife." "Oh," said the embarrassed guest, "I beg your pardon. Of
course, it is not her voice that is bad, it is that awful song she has to sing. I wonder who wrote
it." "I DID," said Nasrudin.


Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 16

Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 15

1. A friend was visiting Mulla Nasrudin. "My boy has just written me from jail," he said. "He says
they're going to cut six months off his sentence for good behaviour." "MY," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"YOU MUST BE PROUD TO HAVE A SON LIKE THAT."


2. Mulla Nasrudin walked into a psychiatrist's office, opened a tobacco pouch, and stuffed his nose
with tobacco. "Man, I can see that you need me," the psychiatrist said. "Come on in and tell me
your problem." "MY ONLY PROBLEM IS," said Nasrudin, "I NEED A LIGHT."


3. Mulla Nasrudin climbed into a barber's chair and asked, "Where's the barber who used to work
on the next chair?" "Oh, that was a sad case," the barber said. "He became so nervous and
despondent over poor business, that one day when a customer said he didn't want a massage,
he went out of his mind and cut the customer's throat with a razor. He is now in the state
mental hospital. By the way, would you like a massage, Sir?" "ABSOLUTELY!" said Mulla
Nasrudin.


4. Mulla Nasrudin told his psychiatrist that he had the same nightmare over and over again, night
after night. "And what do you dream about?" asked the doctor. "I dream that I am married,"
said the Mulla. "And to whom are you married in this dream?" the doctor wanted to know. "TO
MY WIFE," said Nasrudin. "THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT A NIGHTMARE, SIR."


5. Mulla Nasrudin was on his first ocean voyage and was deathly ill. Trying to comfort him, the
steward said, "Don't be so down-hearted, Sir, I have never heard of anyone dying of seasickness."
"OH, DON'T TELL ME THAT," moaned Nasrudin. "IT HAS ONLY BEEN THE HOPE OF
DYING THAT HAS KEPT ME ALIVE."



6. Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends were thinking one day to join the army. "What makes you
think to join the army?" asked the Mulla. "Well, I don't have a wife and I love war," said the
friend. "And why you are thinking to join it?" "ME?" said Nasrudin. "I HAVE A WIFE AND I LOVE
PEACE."



7. Late one night a psychiatrist found himself staring into the muzzle of a large pistol. He was
shocked to recognize the gunman who was holding him up. "See here, Nasrudin," he said.
"Don't you remember me? I am your benefactor. Don't you remember the time I saved you
from the electric chair by proving you were crazy?"

Mulla Nasrudin laughed and laughed and laughed. "SURE I REMEMBER YOU, SIR. BUT, AIN'T ROBBING YOUR BENEFACTOR A CRAZY
THING TO DO?"


8. "Young man," said the angry father, Mulla Nasrudin, "didn't I hear the clock strike four when
you brought my daughter home?" "Yes, Sir," said the boy. "It was going to strike ten, but I
grabbed the gong and held it so it wouldn't disturb you." "I WILL BE A SO-AND-SO," said
Nasrudin. "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT IN MY YOUNGER DAYS?"


9. Mulla Nasrudin was coming to after a serious operation. He was just conscious enough to feel
the softness of the comfortable bed and the warmth of gentle hands on his forehead. "Where
am I?" he asked. "In Heaven?" "NO," said his wife, "I AM STILL RIGHT HERE WITH YOU."



10. A man was chatting to Mulla Nasrudin who was a rabid fisherman. "I notice," he said, "that
when you tell about the fish you caught you vary the size of it for different listeners." "YES,"
replied Nasrudin, "I NEVER TELL A MAN MORE THAN I THINK HE WILL BELIEVE."


Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 15