Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 18

1. "I am going to get a divorce," a friend told Mulla Nasrudin. "My wife has not spoken to me in
three months." "I'D THINK TWICE IF I WERE YOU," said the Mulla. "WIVES LIKE THAT ARE
HARD TO FIND."



2. Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend his future through palmistry. He said, "You will be poor and
unhappy and miserable until you are sixty." "Then what?" asked the man hopefully. "BY THAT
TIME," said Nasrudin, "YOU WILL BE USED TO IT."


3. Mulla Nasrudin was sitting on his cot in a flophouse. "You know," he said to the fellow on the
next cot, "when I was seventeen years old, I made up my mind that nothing was going to s
me from getting rich." "Well, how came you never got rich?" his friend asked. "OH," said
Nasrudin, "BY THE TIME I WAS NINETEEN, I REALIZED IT WOULD BE EASIER TO CHANGE MY
MIND."


4. "My wife used to play the piano," a friend told Mulla Nasrudin, "but since the children came, she
has not had time to touch it." "CHILDREN SOMETIMES ARE A COMFORT, ARE THEY NOT?" said
Nasrudin.


5. The situation was desperate. Mulla Nasrudin had been bitten by a rabid dog and the doctors
were not certain that he had begun treatment in time to save him. After a consultation on the
matter, they came into the room and told him the plain truth -- that he might develop
hydrophobia -- that his chances were pretty bad. Instead of seeming to be upset at the news,
Mulla Nasrudin asked for a pen and paper and began to write at great length. After an hour of
steady writing, his nurse said to him, "What are you writing, Mulla? Is it your will or a letter to
your family?" "NO," said Nasrudin, "IT'S A LIST OF PEOPLE I AM GOING TO BITE."

6. Mulla Nasrudin and his young son were driving in the country one winter. It was snowing. Their
bullock-cart broke down. They finally reached a farmhouse and were welcomed for the night.
The house was cold, and the attic in which they were invited to spend the night was like an
icebox. Stripping to his underwear, the Mulla jumped into a featherbed and pulled the blankets
over his head. The young man was slightly embarrassed. "Excuse me, Dad," he said, "don't you
think we ought to say our prayers before going to bed?" The Mulla stuck one eye out from
under the covers. "SON," he said, "I KEEP PRAYED UP AHEAD FOR SITUATIONS JUST LIKE THIS
ONE."


7. Mulla Nasrudin's wife was giving her daughter a few interesting facts about married life. "I
hope," she told the young girl, "that your lot in life is going to be easier than mine was. For the
fifty-five years I have been married, I have carried two heavy burdens, your father and the fire.
EVERY TIME I HAVE TURNED AROUND TO LOOK AFTER ONE OF THEM, THE OTHER HAS GONE
OUT."


8. A young lady went to old Mulla Nasrudin for advice. She said to the Mulla: "Should I marry a
fellow who lies to me?" "YES, UNLESS YOU WANT TO REMAIN UNMARRIED FOREVER," said
Nasrudin.


9. Mulla Nasrudin's mule kicked his wife in the head and she died. A huge crowd turned out for the
funeral, most of them men. The minister following the ceremonies, said: "This lady must have
been very popular. Look at the large number of people who have left their work to come to her
funeral." "THEY ARE NOT HERE FOR THE FUNERAL," said Nasrudin. "THEY ARE HERE TO BID ON
THE MULE."


10. "Stand up," shouted the preacher, "if you want to go to heaven." Everybody stood up but old
Mulla Nasrudin. "Don't you want to go to heaven, brother?" asked the preacher. "YES, SIR,"
said Nasrudin, "BUT I AIN'T GOING WITH NO EXCURSION."

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