Aisi apni Wife ho

Aisi apni Wife ho 5'3" jiski height ho,
Jeans jiski tight ho,
Chehara jiska bright ho,
Weight mein thodi light Ho,
Umar me difference slight ho,
Thodi see wo quiet ho,
Aisi apni Wife ho....
Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho, Bhid me sab kahe "side ho, side ho"..

India ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho
Aisi apni Wife ho...
Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,
Dinner candle light ho,
Dono me na kabhi fight ho,
Milne ke baad dil delight ho,
Yeh kavita padhke sab kahe "Guru, tum right ho,
Aisi hi apni Wife ho..."
Kaash yeh concept 0.0001 percent bhi right ho
Agar aisi apni wife ho to kya haseen life ho
Har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho
kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho
Ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho
Aisi apni wife ho, aisi apni wife ho...

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India Marriage Joke

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2.There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.

3.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : " Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7. "What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."

8."Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. " I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?". "A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" The husband replied. Because I work like a horse,live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow."

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How ABCD Marriages Start

How some Indian marriages start -- The awkward first phone call

The Scene: The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker working
in New York. The Boy is doing his residency in Boston and was
given her number by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's
aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife in Chicago.

Monday night, 10 pm

Girl: Hello?

Boy: (Shit, she's home!) Umm, hi! Is this ---?

Girl: Speaking.

Boy: My name is ---. I don't know if you know who I am-
(God, what if she doesn't know who I am? I'll sound like
a complete idiot.) Hell, I already sound like a complete
idiot. I don't even know why I'm doing this!)

Girl: Oh, you live in Boston, right?

Boy: Yeah. (Ok, she was told about me, that's a fucking relief.
I wonder what she was told - "He's a resident, tall, and
fair, and he graduated from Ivy League school!" God, she
probably hates me already!)

Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you had my number.
(I can't believe he actually called!)

Boy: So, how are you? Oh yeah, that's real original, but what the
hell else I am supposed to say- Umm, hi, I don't know you,
but do you want to be wife?)

Girl: I'm fine. And you? (Ok, this is off to a great fucking start)

Boy: I'm good.(Ok, think, think!) So, I heard you're an investment
banker? (Oh, that's a real winner. Now I can be a bad
conversationalist and an idiot!)

Girl: Yes.

Boy: (Ok, she is not helping me at all!) Where do you work?

Girl: Merrill Lynch.

Boy: Hey, that's a great firm! (I sound like a complete moron.
I should just hang up except my mother would somehow find
out and kill me!)

Girl: Yeah, it's a nice place to work. (God, this guy sounds
like a complete loser)

Boy: So...(Stall ,stall!)

Girl: So you're doing your residency in cardiology?
(Like my mom didn't tell me that 500 times already!)

Boy: (Ok, I can handle this...) Yeah, I'm in my second year.
(Alright, now say something else, but what do I say? Do you
drink and have sex? Cause if you want to marry me, you can't
be one of those goody goody South Asian girls who think if
they kiss a guy they've practically gone all the way)
So, what do you like to do in your free time?

Girl: (Umm... get wasted...) Oh, you know, hang out with my friends,
go to movies.

Boy: Where do you like to hang out in NY?

Girl: (Shit, what am I supposed to say? This guy could be some
religious freak! I can't say bars - I'll say clubs, you can
go to clubs and not drink...) Oh, sometimes we go to the
movies, or there's a couple clubs that are good... (That
was good, I made it sound like I like clubs, but I'm not
really into them...)

Boy: (Ok, she goes to clubs, that's a good sign. If she was really
religious she wouldn't do that.) Yeah? I like to dance also.

Girl: (He likes to dance- that's a good sign. He can't be that
stiff!) So where do you hang out in Boston?

Boy: (Should I say it- alright, I'll say it, what the hell!)
Umm, the same, bars, clubs, stuff like that.

Girl: (He said bars! So he probably drinks. Good sign. I should
explore this further...) Are there any good bars in Boston?

Boy: Yeah, there are some nice ones, I mean, I'm not a huge drinker,
but I like having a good time. (Ok, that gives the impression
of someone who enjoys drinking but is not an alcoholic -
pretty good, if I do say so myself!)

Girl: (That sounds really positive. This guy sounds kind of cool.
But if he's so cool why is he calling me? Shouldn't he have
a girlfriend? Or not need to call random girls his mother
tells him about? God, what if he's completely ugly? Or has
never been kissed?)
Yeah, me too. Although I hope my parents never find out.

Boy: Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. (I wonder if she's butt)

Girl: (Ok, so he didn't freak out at the living a double life
reference- another good sign. I just wish I knew what he
looked like...) So...

Boy: (Or she could be really fat with a huge mustache. Well, there's
only one way to find out!) So, I know this sounds a little
crazy, but I'm visiting some friends in NYC next weekend and
I wonder if you'd want to get together for coffee sometime.

Girl: (Coffee. That's totally safe. If he's totally nasty I can have
a quick espresso and run like hell!) Yeah, that sounds great.

Boy: (Alright that went pretty well. Coffee's pretty harmless. And
who knows, maybe she'll be cool. Now I have to get the hell
out of this conversation...)
So I have your e-mail, should I just e-mail you soon and
we can figure it out?

Girl: (E-mail is sooo much better than the phone. Thank God for
e-mail!) Yeah, just e-mail, I check it all the time at
work, so- (God, this is getting painful)

Boy: Alright, I'll e-mail you soon.(Meaning in two days cause
I don't want to look too desperate, but at the same time
I don't want to look like I'm trying not to look too desperate)

Girl: Cool. Well, I'm glad you called. (I think...)

Boy: Me too. Well, I'll see you soon.(Please be hot, please be hot!)

Girl: Alright. Bye. (I can't believe he called! Too late to back out
now. Besides, maybe he's cool. He didn't sound so bad on
the phone. I really hope he's not a virgin.)

Boy: Bye.(I did it! I am the man. I think she wants me. Yeah, she
definitely wants me..... I hope she has nice breasts.....)

contributed by Smita Baliga

Read more: How ABCD Marriages Start

Shaadi Shayari - Shaadi ke pehla, shaadi ke baad

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

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