Laloo and the Japanese delegation

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."

Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inefficient," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"

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Laloo Ban Gaya Crorepati

Back in the Jahanabad, there were two Yadavs , Laloo and Sadhu. One day, the two were enjoying a strong country in the local thek , when a man walked into the bar with a Brahmin's head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Brahmins; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of a Brahmin, I'll give him fifty thousand rupees."

The two Yadavs looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for a Brahmin. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Sadhu threw a rock which hit the Brahmin right on the head.

The Brahmin fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Laloo pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Sadhu said, "Lalooji, take a look at this."

Laloo replied, "Not now, I'm busy."

Sadhu tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."
Laloo said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's Fifty thousand rupees in my hand."

But Sadhu was adamant. "Please, Lalooji, take a look at this."

So Laloo looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand Ranbir Sainiks.
Laloo just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we're going to be Crorepatis!"

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Clinton's English Lesson To Laloo

Bill Clinton decided to 'teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur.
Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition. Inside the White House, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo English.

Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out. The whole country and its economy have come to a standstill, and press, news reporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome.

At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo - beaming his resplendent white smile, looking cool and unruffled.

However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face.
The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton?"

Bill replies : "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"

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Laloos Clock

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" Yamraj answered, "Those are LieClocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that? "

That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie. "

And whose clock is that?

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."

Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?

" Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.

 

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Laloo Jokes

LA LOO JOKES

* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
La loo

* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

* Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"

* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"

* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
"Marriage"

* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"/

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