Laloo and the crashing plane

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane.Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here."

Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane.Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live !" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India ....and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live !"


Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane. The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump." The school boy said, "Don't worry ! There are still two parachutes left with us ! The most intelligent person,Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag !"


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Laloo's son's wedding

Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.

Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani

Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."

This is how business is done!!!


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Mayawati comes to Lalu's House

Mayawati came to Lalu€™s house with a goat€¦
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho?

Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!


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Laloo Vs Gates

Bill Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.

Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.

Gates : Have you installed Windows at home?

Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house. Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?

Laloo : OPERATION ? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.

Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased moquito problems many people are sleeping under the net. Gates: By the year 2002 India should export computer chips.

Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?

Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Sweating Heavily): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.

Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P.

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.

Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave. Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.

Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting. Please wait............."

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Laloo, Sonia, a saint and a schoolboy

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane.
Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.


Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.

The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump."
The school boy said, "Don't worry! There are still two parachutes left with us! The most intelligent person, Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag!"

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Laloo in Wonderland

Raabri was worried whether or not Laloo upon his death made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo's voice was heard answering, "Hello Raabri, this is meeee..."


"Lalooji," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."

"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his Raabri cried.

"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Punjab."

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